To My Valentine
by Ogden Nash

More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,

Or the Axis hates the United States,

That's how much I love you.

I love you more than a duck can swim,

And more than a grapefruit squirts,

I love you more than gin rummy is a bore,

And more than a toothache hurts.

As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,

Or a juggler hates a shove,

As a hostess detests unexpected guests,

That's how much you I love.

I love you more than a wasp can sting,

And more than the subway jerks,

I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,

And more than a hangnail irks.

I swear to you by the stars above,

And below, if such there be,

As the High Court loathes perjurious oaths,

That's how you're loved by me.

Bad Medicine

When does ideology interfere with the 'good' of science and medicine? When it is not guided by the ethics of a well formed conscience.



What Is Drudgery?

While re-reading the book "Holiness for Housewives"by Dom Hubert van Zeller, I was reminded of an excellent G.K.Chesterton quote from the chapter ' The Emancipation of Domesticity' in his book "What's Wrong with the World."

"...I cannot, with the utmost energy of imagination, conceive what they mean. When domesticity, for instance, is called drudgery...the difficulty arises from a double meaning in the word. If 'drudgery' only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home - as a man might drudge at the Cathedral of Amiens or drudge behind a gun at Trafalgar. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colourless and of small import to the soul, then, as I say, I give it up; I do not know what the words mean. To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labours, and holidays; to be Whiteley within a certain area, providing toys, books, cakes, and boots; to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene, I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No, a woman's function is laborious; but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness."



The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed, "Subsequential Internal Non-Morality", or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.

Some possible symptoms of this SIN defect include: a) Pride, b) Greed, c) Envy, d) Wrath, e) Lust, f) Gluttony and g) Sloth.

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required!

The toll-free number to call is: C-O-N-F-E-S-S-I-O-N. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download GRACE from the Repair Tech, Jesus, into the heart component No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus (using the GRACE component) will help you to replace the SIN defect with: a) Faith, b) Hope, c) Love, d) Prudence, e) Justice, f) Temperance and g) Fortitude. Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the use of these fixes.

As an added upgrade, the manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance from a resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy Spirit. The resident Maintenance Technician will also introduce many improvements into the Repaired Units. Repaired Units need only make Him welcome, and He will take up permanent residence on the premises!

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list. The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace because SIN defect cannot be permitted to enter Heaven - so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall.

(printed in today's bulletin, St. Ignatius Parish, Grand Cayman....I'm pretty sure it's off the internet!)

World Marriage Day

World Marriage Day, the very existance of which begs the question 'why '?

Why is it necessary to acknowledge as good and beneficial to us all, something that until so recently was universally accepted as such?