*satire alert

Scott Ott:

(2008-09-25) — Sen. John McCain, R-AZ, who suspended his presidential campaign yesterday to address the global financial crisis, arrived at the Capitol this morning, locked the doors to the Senate and asked running mate Sarah Palin to post troops from the Alaska Army National Guard to bar senators from entering the chamber.

The Republican nominee said, “The current crisis demands all the courage lawmakers can muster to avoid the unintended, but surely disastrous consequences, of government intervention with taxpayer money.”

“Now that I have solved the crisis,” said Sen. McCain, “I’m willing to either debate Sen. Obama Friday night, or to just sit down for a cup of coffee with him so I can tell him what it’s like to be a U.S. Senator, what the inside of the Senate chambers look like, and other things about which he might be curious.”

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